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Ok… so I created this blog over two years ago – all excited about dusting off the cobwebs of my creativity and writing again – something I hadn’t done in forever. My original intent was to be the next great author, get published, etc., etc. Lofty dreams, with no plan or purpose of getting there, other than the blog. Sound familiar? I yearned to do it, but too many blocks stood before me that I just couldn’t knock down. So the blog just sat. Idle.

I grew up with a great family, loving parents, supportive siblings, and relatives too many to count. Sorry, I don’t have some crazy upbringing that would make your head spin. I’ve read many other blogs and my neck hurts from the bios I’ve read. I won’t BS you, I’m fortunate. I played sports, went to church, had great friends in the neighborhood, and ate dinner with my family every night. My childhood home sat on a corner within a middle-class town that bred tolerance and acceptance, not drugs and crime.

Personally, I reflect back and see myself as an only child. My relationships and memories of my sibs are good, but not strong. And that is no knock on them, they’re amazing. I chose to hang out by myself. Quite often, I’d prefer doing my own thing instead of hanging out with friends. I found interest in writing (a lot), computers, fantasy (read Dungeons & Dragons…if I haven’t written a poem or short story about this topic already, believe me I will),  music, and just plain-ole thinking. Things you can do alone. To this day, I need alone time. It’s who I am.

I was a geek, before the term got overused, and quite frankly, tolerable. My parents purchased a Commodore Vic-20 (shout out to all the Commodore faithful) when computers started to emerge in homes. GBs of memory? It had a whopping 20K. Monitor? It connected to the TV. Disk drive? Ummm…no, tape deck. Most others families went after Apples or TRS-80s. We didn’t and it served my need to “be different” well. I loved it. Probably my first girlfriend. The blog wasn’t even a thought then. Shit, it wasn’t even a concept. In any case, it is the single reason why today I am in the software industry (and also why, you may not fully understand some of my crazy poetry or prose in the blog).

Fast forward. I married young (hint, someone was pregnant). Big mistake. Surprisingly, I divorced (hint, sarcasm). At its onset, my best friend’s mom told me, “When you get divorced, you’re divorced. When you get divorced with kids, you’re never really divorced.” Twelve years later, it rings sadly true. My life changed dramatically and the blessings of my youth started to fade. I found love for the first time with my second wife, and brought some more children into the world. Amazing women. Amazing children – all of them.

Then, over the past year, while the blog was still hibernating, I had many – and I mean many – a troubling event. Heart-wrenching, puking, can’t sleep type crap. On the flip side I was grateful for it, as it forced me to journal. That felt good. Damn good. So good, it compelled the blog to speak to me saying, “Save your therapeutic crap for the old-school journal, grow some balls, and start writing to me.” And like a dog furiously wagging its tail in obedience to its master, I did. And then, it happened. A community of people opened up before me, gracing me with some amazing blogs. The kind of stuff where you sit there and say aloud, “wow”, not “Wow!”, if you know what I mean. The kind of stuff that sings to your emotions and dances with your brain. Even more to my amazement was the ability of many bloggers to be truly authentic. I was humbled to have the privilege to read such amazing posts. I was ever more so grateful. So, today, I struck down my original “About” page from over two years ago  (if you’re really interested with the crap see below) and opened up. Authenticity, as much as I struggle with it, is key to my way of living now. This page now reflects that.

I sincerely hope you enjoy, even in the smallest way, some of my posts. It’s me. It’s real. And, of course, the blog appreciates it too.

This blog is my intention to get the right side of my brain going again!  And even more so, to pursue endeavors into writing which I enjoyed when I was a much younger lad and has been missing for the last 20 years.  I’m a novice for sure, but hopefully I can use this medium to help me actually write instead of just talking about it all the time.  I’ve always enjoyed fantasy, as a good part of me was a nerd growing up (and still is).  But, I know that will not be the only genre that I’ll pursue.  Stories will be short.  I’m not ready to write a novel…just yet.  And they likely will be all over the place, and for some, might not even make sense.  Feedback is important to me, no matter the kind, because I feel all feedback is good.  I just want to hone my skills, learn from others, and grow as a writer.  This is my playground and I hope some will jump in and play as well.


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